Today I am re dyeing my hair. You too can have this look in just two hundred easy steps!

What you will need:

Profanity

Bleach

Black Dye

Pink Dye

Petroleum Jelly

3 Pairs of Latex Gloves

3 Towels

A Shower

Plastic Wrap

Face Wipes

2 Mirrors

2 Rubber Bands

A Comb

Copious Amounts of Time

No Witnesses

Unfortunately for me, whoever bought the gloves last happened to buy them two sizes too small and bright purple. My fingers are way too long for these gloves. I feel like John Wayne Gacy crossed with a pediatrician. These would not be gloves I would ever wear again.

These are just bad.

These are just bad.

This whole hair clusterfuck took me four hours. That is a long time to wear gloves that are way too small, especially if someone happens to see it. Which of course they did. Damn these gloves.

Even though the result was what I had hoped for, It was not without cost. By the end I was soaked. There was a pink dot on my face that wouldn’t come off. Two of my towels were now new colors as was my shower curtain, one of my shirts, my arm, two sponges, a washcloth, and half a roll of paper towel.  It took ten minutes just to get the petroleum jelly out of my ears which is apparently an activity that makes people watch you like you were eating boiled dog.

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